As I grow older, it really stuns me how frequently friends come and go. I trust in people that let me down constantly, and it’s something that really disappoints me. I’ve already written about disappointment so I won’t go into another rant about that, but friendship is something that I have found to be more rare than people think. Most people who I have considered a friend before are merely acquaintances; we bond over trivial, silly things that don’t make a friendship last at all. The people who stay in your life take the time to know you, to understand you, and, finally, to accept you. I have lost people this semester who I truly believed did those things. I thought they loved me and wanted me around, but it turned out to be quite the opposite. I wish I understood more what I did to help them exit my life: I am not trying to entirely put the blame on them for, essentially, casting me out. There are others who simply distanced themselves from me completely. I’ve honestly never felt so down in my life.
I think friendship is just something that I must realize comes around less than I think it does. I can count out on one hand the people I could call in the middle of the night crying my eyes out and they would come running to comfort me. Maybe I’ve become cynical and am not giving the people in my life as much credit as they are due, but maybe it’s warranted.
Last night I spent some time with some absolutely wonderful ladies—I couldn’t ask for better girls to spend an evening with. They are both so fantastic to me and I cannot even express how thankful I am to have them around now. I surely hope that my friendship with these girls lasts a long time, because they are both extremely caring people that I’d love to have around. I’m very encouraged by the time we had together last night.